2weeks2go2john&dog

So, the d-day is approaching. I feel kind of lonely preparing this stuff, even if I'm grateful at the same time for the little help and support some people is giving me. Every yes feels like heaven, every no feels like ass-rape, every indifferent answer feels like ass-rape by a cactus.

Too much things pending, unknown uncertainties, strange unwilling of myself of thinking through the storyboard's direction. Is this really worth all the time, money, effort and ass-kissing I've been giving to a lot of people and institutions that in the end will only blame me if it fails?

"Thank god" (just an expression) for some confidence I have in myself and in the work we'll have to do for the things to go out well. Fucking job, I've should have born pretty boy with a tendency for cynism.. I would have been a lot happier 'till now. But no, I have a tendency for confrontations I won't win, with people who won't understand the true nature of my anger, with things I'll never conquer.

ps: most of the people who know me will desagree with all of my sayings in this post but hey.. maybe next time they will.